Post by Bellie Jayaprakash on Oct 25, 2008 8:07:24 GMT -5
I had posted the following post in my website : www.badaga.in
It has been on my mind for some time. Whenever I visit the Nilgiris or talk to friends and relatives, one topic that always comes up is the lack of knowledge / information of suitable match among Badagas. You have to depend on the recommendation or information by word of mouth to a great extent.
So, is it possible to have a one stop page where all the needed info, like the details about the girl/boy, is available, A FREE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE, where Badagas can “FIND” Badagas?
Can we ensure that this free service is NOT ABUSED ?
Latest 23 Oct 08
Sadly,the response is very poor. But, on the positive side, it has kindled youngesters like mlle Sumathi and Anand Belliraj to express some valid points worth pondering over. Please read the comments below …..
I am reproducing the comments below;
# mlle_sumathi, on September 5th, 2008
This would be a great beginning coz personally i think that it is the individuals themselves who r going to spend a whole lifetime together should know each other’s details before tying the knot of commitment, especially for the present and future generations- since our badaga people are spread: more and more more around the globe and lesser and lesser in the nilgiris.
i have seen a couple of websites which are either less efficient or more money minded.
Again Bravo! to all the efforts u r putting to enhance the badaga portal ,every new day. evry time i access this site i discover something new about us
# Bellie Jayaprakash, on September 6th, 2008
Thank you Mlle_Sumathi,
As usual, you are always the first one to reflect and record the feelings of youngsters accurately. It encourages me a lot when I get such positive comments.
# Anand Rajbelli, on October 14th, 2008
I agree with Sumathi what she said is absolutely right, most of our people especially youngsters do not life at Nilgiris, so we have to do something to bring awareness among our people about marriage.
# mlle_sumathi, on October 19th, 2008
Hi Anand Rajbelli,
I think it is totally unfair when you oblige people not to marry out of our community, union of different communitites is always an asset as it is not a miss but it enriches diversity on the contrary. freedom must be given anywhere as longer as it does not harm anyone & does not cross the accepted limits.
# Anand Rajbelli, on October 20th, 2008
Hi Sumathi
I’m sorry if my comment has hurt your feelings……But what i am trying to convey to our people is to marry within our community and the reason is, nowa days,our huttys are not like before, if they come to know that the person is been married out of our community they just put not only him or her but the whole family out of hutty and they are not allowed to takepart in any hutty occations and they will not encourage the family members for any “ollithu,olla”( this has happened in our hutty ).So i’m just trying to send across a message to our youngsters to be proactive.
Why should our family members suffer for the mistakes we do?
# mlle_sumathi, on October 22nd, 2008
Hi Anand RajBelli ,
I understand what you want to convey, but that is exactly that I want to debate .Atleast the younger generation must not be rigid & backward in thinking.
Sorry, i do not know if you will come under the younger gen next or not.!!!
When we have ” Vasudeva Kutumbam ” concept in our civilization & culture , it is shameful that our villages are still living in the dark ages & following some horrible practices.At least the future must change .
After all, all is fair in love & war.
Well, it is my personal opinion .you have all the right to not to accept it or put forward your opinions.
# Anand Rajbelli, on October 22nd, 2008
Hi Sumathi,
If you want to debate!! I would love to do it. Ok…tell me wat do u mean by rigid & backward in thinking???and in wat way you mean that??.Moreover how can you blame our villages to come under shame & darkness by following our traditional values!! and Culture.
# mlle_sumathi, on October 23rd, 2008
Hi Anand Rajbelli,
Well, when I see people unable to accept changes in society for example Badaga youngsters are nowadays living in different parts of the world and it is only natural that they may meet somebody there and live with them,hence ostracizing their kith & kin, here is ridiculous, rigid & backward.This is what is shameful & still living in the dark ages.
Society must change with changing times.
Social practices are moduled according to the times. Now, our society & especially our Badaga community is undergoing drastic changes, hence we need to change ,& broaden our thoughts. This is not only for matrimonial matters but in general, about lifestyle.
As far as following traditional values & culture, I will be the first person to support it coz, during my stay abroad I have really learnt the treasure that is culture and its richness. In fact, I eagerly learn new cultures and try to follow the good things from every culture. That is is one reason why I adore traveling to different places. It is a humbling experience and I have begun to appreciate our Badaga history & culture more & more since thanks to people like Wg Cdr JP who have made it possible.
# JP adds: Very well said about “Society must change with changing times”, Sumathi.
Do you know, in the beginning of 19th century, Rao Bahadur Bellie Gowder brought two fundamental changes 1) that ‘ the expenses connected with a death in a family would be the responsibility of the entire Village and not just that of that particular family, as expenses involved in the elaborate decoration - ‘Gudi Kattodhu’ - like a gopuram of the “saavu Kattilu” as well as feeding all the people attending the funeral made many a family sell whatever they had and put them in deep poverty’ and 2) other major change that ‘irrespective of which Village or sect [like Horuva, Gowda etc] every Badaga would touch the feet or head depending on the age of the deceased - this is so ’cause for example even a minor from Thangadu attending the saavu of an aged Ayya at Hubbathalai would touch the head by way of paying respect’, which needless to say ,it was an rediculous custom. There was a lot resistance to these changes and in fact divided the Badaga community vertically into two Gowda Katchi and Haruva Katchi. But, see the transformation that has been brought in. Same was the case - resistance to change - when Rao Bahadur Ari Gowder brought in prohibition during the British raj into Nilgiris [only place in whole of India at that time].
I am of the strong opinion that a daughter should also get equal share of the property among Badagas (though, there is a law to that effect now) and this will eliminate a lot of ‘failed marriages’.
Also, I feel that all the restrictions imposed on women [who form 50% of any society] wrt to the visit to ‘Hethe Gudi’ and when the ‘Hethe Mane ‘ people visit any village should be removed. After all the GREAT GODDESS HETHE HERSELF IS A WOMAN.
# Anand Rajbelli, on October 24th, 2008
That’s what I am trying to convey to our youngsters, Sumathi, as you said “youngsters are nowadays living in different parts of the world and it is only natural that they may meet somebody there and live with them”. If most of them go that way,then where do you see our hutties five years from now?? And, moreover, we can’t say their sons or daughters may not follow their parents and what will happen to our villages?our culture??our tradition?? Who is there in the coming generation to follow our ancestors?.We can ask so many questions like this for a simple mistake ( intercast marriage )we do in our life.That is where we have to bring an awareness ( proactivity ) in their mind.
We need to change ,& broaden our thoughts in the way,how? Can we come out with innovative ideas to serve our community to its best but not by going out of it.
I really don’t understand when you have so much value for our culture, how’s that you support inter-cast marriage?!.
# Banu, on October 25th, 2008
Well Said Brother…am a Proud Sister
# Senthil Kumar, on October 25th, 2008
I think “Madhuvae “is the best initiative taken by Sumathi. Nowerdays most of the young badagas live away from home and abroad.I would really appreciate if sumathi heads it and continues with it since it does not causes any harm to the society and will help us lot more.Keep working..All the best and my wishes and prayers are there for you.
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